12/09/2006, 12/09/2006
"As for my own journey it was surprisingly tough. Emotional pain became physical pain. The lesson learnt was how to hold pain and move with it and how important it is for a counsellor to trust the client to walk the road of pain, see it through and not try to fix it.
But oh how I would have loved somebody to fix it for me at the time!
I feel I have grown on this part of my journey....the secret is to keep growing."
Growth is important, I don't just mean growing up although that in it's self is important. No I mean personal growth and development in life ie. spiritually and emotionally. Many things happen to people causing that growth and development to become stunted. They become locked away in a world of pain caused by abuse, rejection or some other traumatic event. The mind games that take place following any of those events only serve to turn the key in the lock over and over again......to unlock that cell is like peeling an onion.....layer after layer....with all the tears that come with it.
For many the thought of opening up their 'pandora's box' is too painful so they add a crutch to their lives, just to help them along and that's okay in the short term. The trick is having the strength to ditch the crutch before one becomes dependent on it because dependence soon turns to addiction.
There are many kinds of addictions, hard drugs...soft drugs....nicotine.....food.....alcohol...work......yes anything that one gets locked into which serves only to hide behind can be termed as an addiction if it takes over your life. Even a hobby can become an addiction if allowed to get out of control and only put in place to replace one of the above or to stop one having to think!!
Person Centered Counselling gives a person permission to open their 'pandora's box' without fear of judgement or criticism. It is having someone at your side to hold you when you feel like jumping ship....someone who believes in you that having made the decision to open the box....you will empty it to the extent you are able at this time and place on your journey.
Once the box has been emptied one learns not to fill it again but rather deal with issues as and when they arise....that is freedom and empowerment.
I have over the past 5days shared some of my journey and thoughts about life. I know by my counter a number of people have been following it, I look forward to the feed back and maybe something of yourselves!!!....I dare you...I dare you to grow a little!
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( 3.2 / 121 )11/09/2006, 11/09/2006
Sleep evaded me last night, a TV programme brought memories flooding back from my distant past as the face before me on the box and all she represented reeled me into the past. It was not an unhappy experience but rather one that had me asking 'why now'!
I eventually woke late into the morning wondering why I was posting my college journal....what was that all about?....why now?....then a purpose began to unfold!.
To many people the word 'counsellor rates about the same as 'social worker' which is zilch!! and I don't blame them, bad examples of both have destroyed many lives and it is always those cases that hit the headlines.
I want to show through my own journey that to understand hurt and pain and be able to walk that road with others you have to have walked the road yourself. To many people a counsellor is someone who 'fixes' the problem.....they do not or SHOULD not try to fix anything....that is the job of a social worker!! A good counsellor will walk by your side allowing YOU to work through and hold YOUR OWN pain....they are enablers not fixers! Carl Rogers believes very much in the ability of every human being to work through their own pain and find the very core of themselves......who they really are and why they have become who they have become.....so do I. Then turn that knowledge into freedom and empowerment.
Another extract from my journal:
"We have just spent a residential w/end at Haybergyll. We learned to take a risk and reveal a small hidden part of ourselves. Emotions swept through the room session after session it was exhausting to say the least. How Liz and Maggie kept hold of it I will never know. I suppose it was their basic trust in us as individuals to take hold and work through it."
It got worse!!!!
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( 3 / 136 )10/09/2006, 10/09/2006
We left the mountains and headed for the city centre, something we don't often do even though it's less than an hour away. On a Saturday there is a real buzz about the place, these photo's taken all on one street reflect it.
We enjoyed our visit so much that we have decided to it again on a monthly basis.
Another page from my diary!
"3 weeks have passed since I last wrote in this journal. Last week I was in France so missed a week of college. The previous 2wks were strange and challenging.
For some they were threatening, others were oblivious to what was going on within the group. As one who was only observing, I'm not sure how I felt about it all. I would also question the way it was dealt with. But who am I to question anything......I am still the student and to be honest I have not always handled difficult situations properly. Often taking the easy, non-confrontational stance.
With all these feelings simmering beneath the surface between a few of my fellow travellers, it is going to be interesting to see how these would be counsellors work it out!
The future looms ahead and for the 1st time I begin to think my journey may have a destination."
SHADOWS IN THE CITY
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( 3.1 / 142 )9/09/2006, 9/09/2006
Today we are going to succumb to temptation and go into town via the ferry and train. I quite like Glasgow on a Saturday there is a buzz about the place.
2nd quote from my course diary;
"Today I travelled in by bus. Waiting in the bus shelter suddenly threw my mind back some 40yrs when as a teenager I would do this longing for the day I could drive!!......I have now been addicted to the car for 40yrs!!
The afternoon session with Maggie was good, open and honest. I feel at ease with my fellow travellers. There is a nervousness about doing to live tapes.....who will pick who and why! This has become a journey that I now MUST take, not just want to out of curiosity about myself.
We are a mixed bunch many with hang ups and strong opinions. My weekness at this point is not that I can't listen, but rather that I lack concentration. I find it difficult to stay in the moment wondering what is going to be asked of us next! So I guess I'm not so as relaxed as I thought I was. Other courses I have been on were about my job.......THIS IS ABOUT ME"
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( 3 / 141 )8/09/2006, 8/09/2006
Once again the sun shines high in the sky and the Autumn tints can be seen on the horizon tempting us out......but we have resisted and instead have spent the morning doing a huge clear out of clothes and bedding. The good thing about having a clear out now and then is you find some interesting things.
5yrs ago next week I decided to go back to college and train as a Person Centered Counsellor, I have just found my course diary....the account of my own personal journey through this course....it makes very interesting reading and I will over the next few days share some of it with you. The day I started my course was 9/11!......quote from my diary.
"I felt strange driving towards Carlisle, this was the real thing. Back to reading and assignments etc. Yet I felt no pressure maybe because I see it as just part of my on-going journey.....maybe a destination will evolve, who knows. A new beginning for me, a new grandaughter today also. It should have been the perfect day but evil struck and happiness turned to tears. Tears of sadness and despair. Anxiety about our friends over there. Today has changed our lives forever, but for the thousands that have been killed I can only weep and hand them over to a God who can make the difference"
Day 1....it was some day.
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